I’m Not in College, I Just Sleep That Way

Sleep is precious to me. I’m an insomniac so when my eyes are shut and the world fades away, that’s a sacred time. I’m of a generally pleasant disposition, but if you wake me before it’s time to get up, I will rip your head off and stuff it down a toilet. Then I’ll go back to bed. I’ll feel bad about it in the morning, when I’m well-rested.

Early on in my marriage, this was a big problem. My wife made the mistake of waking me up one night and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I got so angry and frustrated, I got up on top of the covers and started pounding the bed like a gorilla. We had a talk the next morning and it was decided I had sleep anger issues. I’m much better now.

In college, I started going to bed at 1 – 2am. This was fantastic. I was working two jobs and taking a full load of classes and dating/marrying/having a baby. Late nights allowed me to get homework done, watch movies and play video games. Then I’d sleep for five hours and be out the door to work and/or school by 8am that morning. I didn’t drink caffeine, I didn’t take pills. That junk is for wimps.

Now that I’m not in college? No change. I turn 35 in January and this is still the schedule that works best for me. You know why? Solid sleep. If I try to sleep for 8 hours, it’s in fits and starts. But when I go to bed exhausted? It’s solid. I wake up refreshed. Just don’t bother me before the alarm rings. You will be missing vital organs if you do.

My wife is the opposite. She’s usually out by 9:30 or 10:00. This gives me about three or four hours a night when I’m on my own. After college, I was happy to use that time to watch even more movies and play even more video games. But somewhere along the line I realized that all that extra time was good for something and I was wasting it. That’s how SuperFogeys and other various projects were born. Now, I spend most of my time at night writing. Usually until I pass out on my laptop. It’s fantastic. I actually feel a little guilty on those rare occasions when I watch a movie instead.

What about you? What time do you go to bed? Have your sleep patterns changed as you’ve gotten older? Do you conk out at 8:30 like a punk? Sound off below!

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